The reaction to the phrase «strong woman» is different. Some utter these words with envy, others with sarcasm and irony. The fact is that strong women evoke different associations. How to relate to this concept and how to find a healthy female power, the article will tell.
Fundamentals of self-confidence
Psychologists have long been puzzled by the concept of female power. Surveys were conducted, and most women assured that they wanted to be strong, because they would be able to handle any tasks and problems. But most men, when using the phrase “strong woman,” described associations with ancient dangerous warriors, Nekrasov’s aunts, who would stop horses at a gallop and easily enter burning huts. In general, associations are positive for women and negative for men.
From warriors with a sword drawn, most of the stronger sex subconsciously try to stay as far away as possible.
Nonetheless there is a psychological portrait that describes the image of a strong woman without an emotional color — as it is. So, if we are talking about the basics of the concept, it is worth noting that first of all, it is not a physically strong woman who is strong, but an adult and independent lady who knows how to make decisions, set goals, act, self-confident, clearly knowing what she wants from herself and surrounding, from relations with them.
Self-reliance does not mean carrying logs on your shoulders when men chill nearby. An independent lady just knows perfectly well what she can do and what she can’t handle. And this is a sign of strength. It is a clear vision of boundaries and limitations that allows such a woman to eventually take her rightful place in life.
A strong woman is more subject to her own emotions, because she lives not in future dreams and not in past suffering and resentment, but only in the present, here and now. This is what gives the basis for excellent self-control and self-mastery.
A woman is given strength by a conscious choice of profession, education received, even a small but stable social platform that she is able to provide for herself, without outside help.
How to become strong mentally?
Women’s psychological strength formed in childhood in any case, it is during this period that the foundations of character are laid. Personal characteristics, temperament, family upbringing and traditions also influence. This whole «cocktail» of factors partially determines whether a woman becomes independent, strong in spirit, self-confident. But — partially. And this is the main point. The rest is independent work, and if you want to become a strong girl or woman, nothing is impossible. The main thing is to become a morally mature person, and this does not depend on age, religion or culture in which the lady grew up.
In addition to describing the psychological portrait of a strong woman, experts have also worked on the distinguishing features of weak ladies, and a comparison of these two types will help to understand in detail how to stop showing weaknesses and cultivate feminine strength in yourself in the best sense of the word.
A strong lady cannot demonstrate dependent behavior. She is more focused on cooperation or mutual dependence, she does not allow herself to be subjugated, manipulated, violate her personal space, trample on desires. She will not give up her interests for the sake of her partner, but will look for a compromise.
Women psychologically strong often remind themselves that they did not come into this world to endure humiliation, but do not throw themselves into tantrums or fights, they think over any situation well and try their best to avoid open conflicts. If it is not possible to avoid, a strong lady does not give in to the enemy, she already has several options to choose from — she managed to think them over in advance.
The opinion of others does not hurt strong women. The voice of their own intuition is more significant for them, and they listen to it, while the weak are increasingly worried about what others think or say. Due to the insignificance of public opinion, it is almost impossible to impose any beliefs, judgments, views from the outside on strong representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. A 100% polite refusal will follow, and if the imposition is with pressure, then the refusal will not be too polite either.
A strong woman will never put herself above or below others.. It equally recognizes its own right and the rights of others to a dissenting opinion, personal boundaries and freedoms, feelings and thoughts.
If someone does not live up to expectations, of course, she will be upset, but this will not be a tragedy for sure. And even more so, the “feature” of another person will not become a reason for hysteria, reproaches or aggression against him, which nervous and weak ladies often sin.
Inner female strength — this is the ability to confess one’s feelings, even if a woman does it first. This is the ability to appreciate help and be grateful. Such a woman easily breaks up with “toxic” people, without regrets leaves the relationships that destroy her personality, society, company, she monitors the “environmental friendliness” of her own soul, family, and children.
A strong woman knows how to plan, calculates her actions and opportunities.. If suddenly she has to provide for her family due to circumstances, there is no doubt that she will cope with this, even if she had no such experience before. Calculation, drafted options for plans, a clear vision of goals will help.
In men, strong women appreciate the ability to respect her personality, reckon with her feelings and desires, honesty. Family and partnership relations with psychologically immature, weak men usually fail, and rarely do strong ladies initially decide on them. Only strong, equal partners are suitable for them, to whom they will become not only wives, but also allies, faithful friends.
For women who intend to gain strength in themselves, psychologists give some useful recommendations.
Eliminate any illusions about others. Do not build fictional images of girlfriends, partners, colleagues. Form your opinions without unnecessary expectations, take into account not words and promises, but only the real actions of each person. This will help not to experience bitter disappointments, it is easier to accept reality.
Get to know yourself better. Talk to yourself honestly, open up your true desires and needs, including the answer, why do you need power at all. If this is an attitude borrowed from the mother, providing for the whole life of the family and the alcoholic husband, then there is a high probability that the scenario will repeat itself, and the force will not bring happiness as a result. It is necessary to direct the force only to creation, to good goals, to which the soul truly lies.
Be sensitive. Strength is not dryness or callousness. A woman should show her best feelings, love, be grateful, feel free to empathize and sympathize. This will help her build honest and long-term relationships with people.
Resolve internal conflicts. This skill will help not to rush from goal to goal, but to confidently follow the chosen path, understanding your capabilities and place in life. In order to become confident, morally and psychologically mature and strong, you need to try to get rid of all previous psychotraumas. If there are too many of them, for this it is better to contact a psychotherapist, gestalt therapist or psychologist. These specialists will help you find the causes of doubts and fears, overcome them, and real inner strength will come to replace them.